HARCOURT, OLIVER LACHLAN

zayn malik; 22 (23 in a few days); pansexual; local; singer in a band, artist

" hey! so i finally broke down and made an official tumblr. yeah, i know, i'm late to the bandwagon, i'm just glad my own name was still available, haha! well, as you guys know, i'm oliver harcourt. i'm one of the singers in the band - oh, well, you guys know what we're called! call me oli or something if you reblog or ask, being called "oliver" is really weird. that being said, feel free to ask me things! i'll also put in a lil quote, too! "

people are saying that i'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because i only drink when i work, and i'm a workaholic - ron white

anonymous asked: how tall are you???

" okay, well, i'm just about six feet all, and before anyone asks i will not be giving my weight lol but i've got a fairly small frame, especially compared to the others in the band. they always joked that i'm the girl, the jerks :P "

censorship is the height of vanity - martha graham

kneeltoloki asked: so, what sexuality ARE you?

" well, okay. this is tricky. to make things simple, i identify as pansexual, but really, i'm just sexual. i don't care what the person is as long as they're willing to have sex with me. boy, girl, trans, fluid - though i honestly don't get how that works, sorry - or even a fucking alien! as long as there's sexual attraction on both sides, i'm game. "

i wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me - hunter thompson

b@db!tch asked: omg lik e! said u had a drg prblm say there rong!

" english, woman, do you speak it? new rule: if you can't type in proper english and are a native english speaker, i won't answer you. but, uh. this depends on your definition of a drug problem? i mean, i don't do hard drugs but i smoke cigarettes and weed sometimes. oops that's illegal did i say that? whatever. i've also been drinking since i was, like. fifteen or so. my friends have and still do joke around that i'm an alcoholic, but i'm not, i swear. i know i need to quit smoking, it's a bad addiction of mine, but i think the only problem i really have is with drinking. at least i'm a fun drunk! "

no one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions - patrick kennedy

anonymous asked: yo man what u got w/ selena? i wanna know if she's available soz i can tap dat ass

" okay really after this, shit spelling and grammar is not allowed. i just... i has to let this be published. god, man, you're such a loser. what we have together is called a child, actually, it's when two people have sex and the sperm meets an egg! but, really, we aren't together. we're just awesome friends. i promise you that if you try to "tap dat ass" she will pepper spray you at least and i will hunt you down and punch you for good measure. do you even watch her videos? "

she’s just been very protective of her heart for a long time. she is afraid - brooke peyton

destielislove asked: what's gonna happen to the band now that you moved to america?

" nothing! we came to an agreement that the others would stay back for a while to get things settled and then join me here. it's part of how we're going to try and spread the word out of the immediate manchester area. we will be returning for shows every now and then, i promise, cause we love you guys! there's also been talk of hosting a contest to fly some fans here for a concert ;) i'll post the contest here and on twitter when we finalize everything. so, yeah! spread the word to your american friends! "

we're not arrogant, we just believe we're the best band in the world - noel gallagher

anonymous asked: you're just using selena's fame for your band!

" while people knowing me because of her has helped us get our name out, people don't like us because i know her. people like us because of our music and how stupidly we act on stage. just as sel earned her fame in the youtube world, so did we. i mean, just look at our twitters! we each have a few million people following us! no, that's nothing compared to sel's ten million subscribers, but let's not compare. she's awesome, we're awesome, and you people suck if you think we only have fans because of selena. "

fame hit me like a ton of bricks - eminem

eyeporn asked: do you have hobbies other than singing?

" i like you. you ask a legit question after all these weirdos and your name is interesting. my main hobby other than, y'know, singing and dancing, is drawing. i draw and paint and i'm trying to sculpt but i don't really have the patience. i've actually sold a few paintings, and they're up in the shop on our website to buy, actually. "

art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time - thomas merton

olilokibby asked: tell us about your baby!

" are you a fan? i can't tell, haha! (your username is amazing) so, she isn't a baby anymore, sadly. her name is scarlett, she's seven years old right now, she turns eight a little after sel's birthday. selena calls her 'glitter' and it's cute~ she takes after me and my art abilities, a lot, which is awesome. basically she's a really awesome and cute kid and she's super loved. "

it's an odd thing when there is a fan page for my daughter who is not yet 13 - johnny depp

anonymous asked: why did you come to america you terrorist?!

" let me guess, you think i was behind 9/11 at the age of ten? while i was sleeping in bed with a fever? yeah, fuck off. "

if you have a problem with me, could you please write it nicely on a piece of paper, fold it up, and shove it up your ass - unknown

keepcalmandloveselena asked: how did you and selena meet?

" we kind of knew each other forever, actually. we're the same age and we both lived in manchester. i mean, we didn't talk at first, so we aren't childhood friends or anything. the way we officially met and started talking a lot, though, was during school, naturally. i was sleeping in an abandoned room and she came in to smoke. we smoked and talked. after that, we talked here and there, but it wasn't until we found out she was pregnant that we really got close. "

it is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them - ralph waldo emerson

anonymous asked: what are some of your favorites??

" my favorite . . . what? my favorite color would be a dark, rich blue. favorite food is pizza with ham, pineapple, olives, and extra cheese. favorite smell is english breakfast tea, which is also my favorite tea, ironically. my favorite dessert is a red velvet cake with butter cream frosting, or just a cannoli. my fave sex position is doggy style, regardless of which end i'm on ;) favorite number is thirteen. favorite movie is the avengers. favorite animal is a red fox. holiday is christmas even though i'm not religious. favorite body part / thing of humans overall is eyes, though on myself it's my smile. freckles are pretty damn cute, too. that's all i'm willing to think of right now :3

my favorite saying is, 'If it's too loud, turn it up' - tori amos

thatoneguy asked: what was your childhood / past like?

" uh. okay. so, i had a pretty good childhood. my dad was pakistani and my mum was english, so it was kind of an odd match but they both raised me with love and an open mind. neither of them forced their religion on me, so i kind of never developed one, which i'm actually grateful for. also, i've gotten other asks (too many of them - i don't feel like publishing all of those now when i can do this one) about my birthday on the wikipedia page. yes, i was actually born on september 11th. it's not a troll saying i'm a terrorist. that was the actual day that i was born, at 12:06 am. lucky me, right?

" both my parents were pretty wealthy. my mum was a doctor and my dad was a lawyer, and on top of that, my granddad is a pretty damn wealthy big business owner. i've always been this dare - devil type person, so i've broken a lot of bones and done a lot of stupid shit. when i was thirteen i thought it would be fun to try and, uh, spray paint random shit in the ghetto. yeah, i ended up running away from this gang for three miles before i fell down some stairs and had to be taken to the hospital. i started smoking around when i was thirteen or fourteen, i think. took up weed around sixteen; if you have a kid, you'd know why i did that. i started drinking around fifteen, but i didn't heavily drink until i was seventeen or so. i lost my virginity at fourteen, which i somewhat regret, and also slept around a lot after that. everything i've done i do not recommend to anyone, i was pretty damn lucky that i didn't ever get an std or some shit like that. i also partied a lot and still do.

" so, i want to talk a little about selena here, because she still falls under my childhood and past and shit, but i'm also trying to keep a bit of our privacy. yeah, so, with scarlett, i've always helped raise her even though sel and i never dated and we haven't really ever felt that way about each other. from the moment she told me she was pregnant i knew i wasn't going to run off on her, because i'm not a dick like that. she typically had scarlett though i would go over a lot and help her out and when she seriously needed a break, i'd take scarlett over to my place and everything. we had a pretty good routine going. a few times, i had scarlett all to myself, but the reasoning behind that is between sel and i. um. i think this is a good answer? long, though, and i kinda got carried away. oops. also i'm going to sleep soon so i'll only be taking a few more asks! "

change is the law of life. and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future - john f. kennedy

anonymous asked: how many relationships have you been in? with what gender? and how were they?

" i've been in about four real relationships. two guys, one girl, and a ftm transgender. only the one with the girl ended badly; she thought i was cheating on her with one of my bandmates (ha!) and made this really, really big scene and it just ended really awfully. i lost my v to one of the guys, but then i found out it was just for a bet to see when he could sleep with me -_- but he ended up having feelings for me so i forgave him. i still kind of regret it, though, cause it hadn't meant a thing for him. "

immature love says: 'i love you because i need you.' mature love says 'i need you because i love you' - erich fromm

black&blue asked: what five things are in your pockets right now?

" i love these types of things! this is my last one, guys, by the way, but i'll try to pick up in the morning. first of all, that assumes i'm wearing pants right now ;) which i'm not, but i checked my pant pockets from today and here you go: wallet, condoms, lube (bom chicka wah wah), a picture of scarlett and sel, and my keys. night, guys! love you all! "

shout out to the girls waiting up for that goodnight text...keep the spirit - unknown

~ none of the usernames i used belong to me, i just kind of made them up and i'm pretty sure at least one of these really exists, so sorry if one of them is you! ~