Hallelujah [CLOSED]

Till smiled at the girl, she seemed understanding of him but then he had his dark secrets he would not share with anyone. He heard footsteps outside his chapel, turning to the girl he whispered, "Hide in that room there, I shall check it out." He got up from his position and walked over to the heavy chapel doors and opened it them as he left the room. He noticed that is was some of the staff outside and Till sighed, he was about to lie to someone, How many more sins Till? he thought to himself. "Neine, I have not seen her. I just finished mass and have been in the chapel ever since." There was a pause as the other member of staff spoke to him, he then replied, "Yeah I will tell you if I see anything, god bless you." He re-entered the building, "It is safe now you can come out."

Till got comfortable again and spread his legs open so he could rest his hands on his legs whilst holding his glass, "I chose a religious life as I want to be close to God. It is not normal for someone like me to be so horny and want to have sex, I should be able to control my temptations. The devil is throwing them at me and I am taking them, it isn't good. The only way I can find forgiveness is hurting myself." He polished off his second glass. He normally could finish a bottle by the end of a night, he needed it as it meant he did not have to think as much as he normally did. "Sometimes I go so far and forget I am a priest. I like to be hurt or hurt someone, I like to be in control or be controlled. Surely that isn't right?" He whispered as he poured another glass, "If you do not like whiskey I have some red wine." He quite liked this girl, she seemed different to the rest.

Till heard what she said and his eyes showed hurt, he was a disgrace to the very religion he followed and loved. His ways were wrong and disgusting, was there any point living when something he was strongly connected to was being pulled away and he was being tempted by the devil to commit hideous crimes, something he should be locked up for. Till squeezed the glass in his hand so it shattered, glass was sprayed everywhere and Till's hand was bleeding, he felt a burn from the whiskey which touched his fresh wounds leaving his hand. He didn't know what to say as she made his life seem useless, how could he preach the bible when all he did was sin. Maybe he couldn't be saved and his body was going to end up in the fiery depths of hell for eternity. Till looked up at Judith, his eyes gave away his emotions he was feeling.

He whispered, "I am not fit enough to preach the word of God. I should of been left to rot in that prison cell in Germany. I wish I never found God or tried changing my life." He took a deep breathe and noticed that her glass was empty, he poured some more into it. "Priests can drink, I do not think in the moderation I drink." He let out a sigh, "I pray every night and every day. I meditate and ask for my sins to be forgiven. I can do this job as I love the Lord and it is my duty to save those who do not believe in Him. To spread the Holy gospel that the Lord has given us. I may be a man in temptation but I am not ready to back down and give up as that is what the devil wants." His voice grew with more confidence, "One day you may understand why people devote their lives to God, even if they are like me a sinner. But that is why Jesus died on the cross for us." He smiled for the first time since their conversation, "So let me ask you a few questions. Why were you put into this asylum? Do you have any family outside this building? And do you have any religion or beliefs." It seemed like the pain from the glass shattering bought his thoughts back, gave him that fighting edge.

Till felt sorry for the young woman he placed his bloody hand on his lap not caring what damage to his hand was done. He would clean it up later, he was in no rush it wasn't like people actively went out to speak to him. "We still have to ask for forgiveness for our sins, he died so we could confess our sins and be forgiven. You wouldn't understand if you do not believe." This wasn't a criticism on her it was more of how he thought of things. "Before I became a priest I did not believe in God, nor did I listen to my parents. They died and I couldn't go to their funeral. Sometimes you just have to accept things and beating myself up for my sins is my way of coping with them. Not a lot of priests do it but I believe I should as Jesus was in pain when nailed to the cross, I should be in pain for wanting to commit sin." He opened the bottle of whiskey and swig it, it was what he normally did when he didn't have company.

He was saddened by her story, not knowing if she was the one who killed her father. He looked back to his normal self, his neutral look, one he used when doing mass. "Everybody lies, maybe you didn't kill him and if your mother is lying then she deserves to burn in hell. This place is awful, I use to like it here but it is getting a bit run down." He confessed as he looked around his chapel. So many memories of being here, so many memories of what he did to certain people in the asylum crept to his mind, he still wanted a release from earlier, even with his emotional battle he still wanted a release. He just wished this girl would give into him but she didn't seem the type, much to his disappointment as he thought she was quite sexy. "So what are the rest of your plans for today?" He asked.

Till watched as she took her top off, he couldn't help but avert his eyes to her chest. This was not helping him and the fact she was now only wearing a tight tank top, his mind ran through all the things he could do and it took him a lot to not do anything then and there. He let out a deep breathe as his eyes bore into her and slowly moved them up to her face, she tried imagining her topless and it turned him on some more. Till took the top that she had taken off, he could easily return it to her after he had gotten the blood out of it. He felt bad because it was his own fault why she had taken her top off, another temptation which tormented him as he struggled not to keep checking her out. He heard what she said about losing her losing him, it made him smile, "Don't worry, I will clean this for you. Sorry for getting blood on you."

Till felt her lean into him more, he couldn't help but take another breathe in. He didn't know what to do, to his shock she placed her hand in his and moved it to her face. He felt the warmth radiate off her face and her soft skin on his bloody hand. He listened to her sweet voice and whispered, "What I want to do with you is a sin, you won't believe how hard it is to hold back. You are an absolutely stunning woman. I just want to take you right now, I am sorry. I know I shouldn't but I cannot help it. I bet you were popular with the men before you came here." He moved his bloody hand to her neck, he wanted to try kissing her again but didn't want to face rejection again and didn't want to make the situation with himself worse.

Till grinned, she actually did care about him. He did not understand why considering earlier she got freaked out by a sudden move made by him. He did not want her to go, he enjoyed her being there. She challenged his beliefs which only strengthened how he felt about the church, God and what not. He smiled at her, "I agree with what you say. I do not get on with most staff members in the asylum, I do not understand why." He was happy that she felt more comfortable with him, almost like the previous hostility was a forgotten memory. He shifted again so more body was touching, he knew he should of told her to leave. He knew he shouldn't be giving into his temptation but he didn't want to resist, he wanted this. The consequences could come later, he wanted to see how far she would go and he was willing to try it.

Till moved his other hand into her lap, and felt the warmth. "You shall not cause me regret and I wish you caused me pain, I honestly do. If I wanted you to go I would of told those people outside where you were. You are intelligent and very down to Earth. Something rare these days." He moved his hand on her neck to her cheek, "You will never be a burden on me, nor on my soul or another scar." He whispered, "Just for you I won't hurt myself where ever this goes, I shall pray harder for forgiveness... I asked for help today from the Lord and instead you came along. I am glad you did." Normally he wouldn't give the person a choice on sexual advances, she had a stronger mind then she thought she did and he knew that. Normal people would bend to his will and he could do as he pleased. He moved his face next to her and gave her a gentle kiss on her cheek, I won't regret this. He thought to himself.

Till felt her kiss, he felt nervous and he wasn't sure why as for times before he had done this but maybe it was due to the young woman not freaking out by him, maybe it was because she wasn't like the rest of the people he did this with. Till heard the comment about the voices going, he didn't know what to say about that and he was far more interested in her lips which were pressed against his. He forgot about his worries from earlier and the temptations, he forgot he was in the chapel. He traced her lips with his tongue as they kissed, it didn't help the situation 'downstairs' either and he felt himself get more aroused. He pulled away from the kiss and whispered, "How far do you want to take this?" He didn't want to hurt the girl in front of him.

Till undid his priests collar as he was away and the top three buttons of his shirt so he could breathe easier, she was so stunning and sexy, he really couldn't believe his luck. He began to kiss her again and moved one hand to stroke her arm, not too hard. His hand moved continued to move until it touched the back of her head as he continued to kiss her, trying not to be too aggressive which was normally done by instinct more then actually wanting to do it. She was the first one for him to kiss inside the chapel, what he should of been doing is praying but instead his more animalistic side took over instead of thinking about punishment, God and so forth his full attention was on the person in front of him.

As for as my unconsciousness will go he thought, unsure what she meant by this but he knew how far he wanted to go. "Just tell me to stop if I am hurting you." He knew it was difficult not to want to take control of the situation, give demands like he did to more submissive people. He had completely forgotten about his bloody hand as he focused on something he knew, something he was good at. Till pulled away from another kiss as he took off his shirt to bare his chest. He had a slight muscular build. He threw his shirt onto the floor, not caring where it landed he just wanted to feel skin contact with the young woman. He started kissing her hungrily, not daring to break away and he wanted to taste every part of her mouth with his tongue. Not too rough Till he thought to himself again as he tried controlling himself.

Till moved both his hands towards her lower back and under her tank top so he could feel her soft delicate skin. He was getting all hot by the close contact but it didn't bother him he was hungry for her and wanted to take her then and there. He moved his mouth from hers and began to kiss the skin which was exposed, started on her neck, he continued to kiss her shoulders to the top of her tank top, "You are so damn sexy, so hot and attractive." He said between each kiss, his hot breath touching her skin. He began to kiss up her neck again towards her lips, wet and warm as he stuck his tongue in her mouth again. He moved both his hands around her waist, attempting to move her so she was sitting on his lap. The Lord wasn't with him right now.